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Entry tags:	whats happening to my body

Attack of the Puberty, PART TWO
And here we have the remaining chapters of "Whats Happening To My Body." No, we never did find out where those apostrophes went. Regardless, enjoy the rest of this sporking!

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Title: Whats Happening to my Body
Author: AnDyOuCaLlYoUrSeLfAnAdUlT (I don't know, most adults know how to capitalize properly...)
Rating: Three suckers total, for full-frontal OOC, half-baked attempts at porn, a "plot" that chases its own tail for hours, and the Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation That Never Were. The only thing keeping it from more is that it's short, and impossible to take seriously.

Full Name (including any titles): Sora, Riku, Kairi, plus Donald and Goofy, occasionally.
Full Species(es): Canonus Horndogicus, Canonus Voyeurism
Hair Color (include adjectives): As canon, supposedly
Eye Color (include adjectives): As canon, again supposedly.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Sora's little Keyblade Master is up more often than it's down, it seems. He also gains the ability to speak in partial capslock. Kairi miraculously grew perfect round breasts?
Special Possessions (if any): Back issues of 'Playboy.'

Origin: Seventh grade health class.
Connections To Canon Characters: Saw their centerfolds in a porn magazine.
Special Abilities: The ability for Sora to get a hard-on whenever Kairi so much as breathes the same air as him. (And for it to conveniently go away the second he realizes he has it!)
Other Annoying Traits: Everyone cusses needlessly. While Sora discovers the joys and pitfalls of puberty, Riku, Donald and Goofy turn into creepy voyeurs trying to get Sora to look at porn. They also seem to have enough wet dreams within wet dreams within wet dreams to qualify this fic for a run on the Twilight Zone.

I Say/Notes: There's good news and bad news for this fic. The bad news? Every character's personality has been replaced with the mindset of a horny Freshmen, and their escapades become a never-ending cycle of awkward moments, bad sex jokes, and unfulfilled fantasies...all to the tune of first grade level spelling and grammar!
The good news? It's short, and it's frecking hilarious.

Sample:


Chapter five mutates into a songfic for someone or other. The lyrics, we will not share them. Also, the magazine has fallen from Sora's bed!

Sora looked down in horror as it was the magazine.

Sora: Oh no! I can't let anyone find out about my secret subscription to "Horse and Hound!"

Before Kairi saw what magazine it was exactly,

Riku: I thought he hid it under the bed.

Sora snatched up and scrambled up from his spot on the bed "Sora let me see!" she siad trying to see it but he kept dodging.

Sora: Dodge-rolling's even more effective!
Kairi: Twenty.

They chase each until, OH NO, MISHAPS.

He shook his head giving her a playful smile as he continued to dodge her. But then he lost his balance running and somehow he fell on her.

Riku: And his penis accidentally fell in her vagina, eh?

On top of her.

Riku: On top of her body.
Axel: On top of her MILKY BOOBIES.
Sora: It sounds like even the author doesn't believe this could actually happen.

Kairi says she's sorry and runs off in a fit of embarrassment!

she asked herself going over to her mirror and looking at herself like she'd never seen herself before.

Axel: In the NUDE.
Sora: *as Kairi* When will my refleeeeection show, who I am...insiiiiiiide!

Somehow...she looked differnt.

Riku: She couldn't really remember those two big lumps being on her chest before.

"Sora" she whispered thinking about all the times he smiled at her everytime he made her laugh,

Axel: Laugh at him, sure.

her heart began pounding.

Kairi: DOKI DOKI DOKI.
Sora: ...Huh?
Kairi: You know, it's one of those Japanese sound effects.
Sora: Oh. I thought we'd just entered the Tiki Tiki Tiki room or something.

Now back to Sora's teenage wangsting.

Sora sat in his room What the hell just happend?

Sora: I sat down, clearly.

He asked himself getting up from the floor. He looked at the Playboy on the floor and sighed picking it up and putting it in his dresser. "What am I going to do?"

Riku: Tell her...the TRUUUUUTH!
Sora: No way! If Kairi found out I was some crummy...pervert, she'd laugh at me.

It's time for yet another shower!

He turned off the shower fascet drying himself with a towel and then going to his hair.

Riku: His hair will have the answers!
Kairi: When you stare into hammerspace, the hammerspace stares back.
Axel: *into Sora's hair* HEY YOU. WHY IS SORA SUCH A PERV?
Sora: *swats*

He walked out of bathroom leaving the towel on the floor

Kairi: He must want the hotel to bring him a new one.

and getting on a blue shirt and some boxers for bed. He stumbled over to his bed rubbing his eyees exhausted.

Riku: *as Sora's eyes* Cut it oooout, we're tired!!

He pulled back the covers and crawled in turning off the light.

Riku: *cups hands over mouth* Heffalumps and woozles...Heffalumps and WOOOOZLES...
Sora: *shiver!*

He laid in his bed with his eyes opened and staring up at the ceiling. Why can't I just tell her?

Kairi: Because there're four more chapters left.

Say 'Kairi...I love you' and with that thought he was asleep.

Sora: No chance! No way, I won't say it, oh no!
Riku: You swoon, you sigh! Why denyyy it, oh-ohhh?
Sora: It's too cliche, I won't say I'm in looooooove!

And of course we launch into...the exact same wet dream we had in chapter one. How original!

"Wha?...Where am I?" Sora asked rubbing his eyes and sitting up "I-...Is this the Island?!" he asked.

Axel: Captain Copypasta in on the scene!
Kairi: She's copying her own fanfic that was copied from the fanfic's own canon. That's almost meta.

He heard a giggle behind him "Sora you're so cute" a familiar voice from behind him said "Kairi?" he askd turning around. She was sitting behind him in...lingere?

Sora: Oh, great. I've had so many wet dreams now all they have left to show are reruns.

"Kairi what are you wearing?!" He asked in shock.

Kairi: It's Uh-oh, spaghetti-Os!

She siad nothing she just licked her lips and began crawling towards him "Eh...W-what are you doing?" He asked "K-kairi?" he questioned again as she put her hand on his leg and reached a hand to his face but then it began to dissapear like she was a fading photograph.

Sora: And now the wet dream's turned into Back to the Future!
Riku: ...That happened to me once.
All: ....
Riku: Minus the wet part.

She looked at her hand "Kairi? Whats happening?!" he asked "Good Bye Sora" she whispered as she disppared.

Kairi: Nice spar, but I need to break for lunch. See ya!

He grabbed for her "KAIRI!" he screamed.

Axel: You snooze, you lose!
Sora: I think I just lose either way.

He sat up in his bed wide eyed, panting and gasping for air. He had sweat running down his face. "Sora?" Kairi asked standing over him

Axel: *as Kairi, holds out a burger* WAKE UP WITH THE KAIRI.
Other three: AAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH.

"Are you okay?" she asked. He stared her and hten reached out and grabbed her hand bringing it to his face and studying it.

Sora: It's the--the RUNE OF PUNISHMENT! NOOOOO!
Kairi: *mute Suikoden hero*

She blinked and then the thunder crashed against the sky.

Riku: IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY BADFIC.

She let out a squeal and jumped. He blinked. She was afaird of thunderstorms.

Axel: Her and every other shoujo heroine.
Kairi: Stepping into a portal of darkness is okay! Leaping off of buildings can be done by anyone! And fighting off hordes of Heartless after barely getting a Keyblade is just fine. But thunderstorms? Oh noooooo, scary! *wiggles fingers*

"C'mere" he siad taking her in his arms "It's ok" he siad as she shivered in fear.

Kairi: That's twenty-five.

She crawled under the covers with him and snuggled up to him "Thanks" she whispered.

Riku: Clearly the sturm und drang clear up any residual inhibitions, too!
Axel: *looks for cymbals*
Sora: Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens! Bright copper kettles and warm-woolen mittens!
Kairi: I am sixteen going on seventeen, why am I still this naive?

He storked her hair and smiled

Sora: I delivered babies from her hair?!

"Of course. Everything was going fine except when her hand accidently brushed against the sensitive part of his thigh. He turned red as he felt himself began to get hard

Axel: Just because they call it "turned on," doesn't mean there's an actual switch up there!

NO NO GO BACK DOWN.

Sora: Down boy, DOWN! *cracks whip* Sit! HEEL!

But! But! She has squishy boobs!

looks like her nipplys are hard too...

Sora: *eyebrow raise* ..."Nipplys?"
Axel: Someday they'll Pokevolve into REAL nipples!

I wonder what they look like under there NO STOP IT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

Sora: *as himself* I WILL END YOU!

I'm gonna end up a rapist if I keep this up!

Riku: ...Yeah, sounds right.
Kairi: *moves a seat away*

She began snoring and he looked down and smiled softly. He laid down next to her Shes so beatiful

Riku: Sleep cures rapist tendencies! I'll have to log that one away for later.
Sora: Wasn't...I already laying next to her?...
Kairi: Huh, looks like I got with the beat.
Axel: Demyx'll be glad to hear it.

We don't care about the lyrics you switched up, thanks!



We open chapter six with the morning after!

Sora woke up that morning, still holding Kairi,

Riku: And in moments was wracked with an excruciating pins-and-needles sensation.

blushing.

Kairi: Who's blushing, you or me?
Sora: Let's save ourselves the trouble and say both.

He carefully got up from the bed so he didn't disturb her and made his way to the bathroom. He undressed putting his clothes in the hamper and made his way to the shower until he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

Axel: *as Sora* Was that purple growth always there?

He did a double take and backed up "Well Hello sexy!" He made a growling noise at himself

Riku: Sora thinks his lion form is sexy, I see!

(My brothers do this all the time! And they like to leave the bathroom door open so EVERYONE sees. and then they get so distracted by themselves that when I come in there I scare the living shit out them.)

Sora: I find that VERY INTERESTING.
Kairi: Who needs a LiveJournal when you can just chat about your life in fanfic?
Riku: It's funny because her brother is actually six.

"Hey baby whats your number?...

Sora: 42.

You come here often...Yeah"

Kairi: Narcissus called. He wants to remind you to stay away from any large rivers.
Axel: He's so desperate for sex he's trying to ask himself out!

he flexed his biscep "Oh! Hello Mr.Biscep!

Axel: *as Sora* You've lost a lot of weight recently!
Sora: Shut up, you.

Sora continues to talk to himself in the mirror.

He walked out of the bathroom and into his room where Kairi was sitting up now "Well hello Mr.Biscep"

Riku: Her true affections are revealed!
Axel: Mr. Biscep actually puts out. A woman's got needs too, you know!

she teased. He turned bright red "How much of that did you hear?!" he asked embrassed.

Riku: Positively statuesque.
Kairi: I didn't know he used bronzer.

She smiled and stood up and stretched. She reached the door when she turned around and siad "But...You come here often baby?" she asked giggling.

Sora: It's my home, I would hope so!
Kairi: Hey, I'm no better than Donald here!
Axel: Donald was booked to appear on Riku's bed and tease him into humiliation this morning, so you had to substitute.

"Get out!" Sora spazzed. She cackled as she walked down the hallway. He shut the door behind him "I can't belive she heard that" he siad shaking his head.

Riku: I can't be-dead you yelled at her like that just for having working ears.
Kairi: Twenty-eight, by the way.

Sora leaves the "ship," and yells at Riku first thing in the morning.

"Yeah Hahah Very funny! I want my porn back!"

Axel: Ew, no you don't!
Kairi: That mag's gotta be crusty as hell now.

Riku siad catching up with him. Sora grinned "Okay but on one condition" he said.

Axel: *as Sora* You have to sleep with me.
Sora: Oh, ha ha.

Riku blinked "What?" he asked "You have to sleep with me"

Axel: Hey now THAT'S JUST CRUEL.
Sora and Riku: HAHAHAHA

"WHAT?!" "HAHAHAH YOU THOUGHT I WAS SERIOUS" Sora snorted shaking with laughter

Axel: You mean he's not? In this fandom?

"You should of seen the look on your face"

Sora: Hey, that's kinda like what you said to me, except you were talking about sharing a paopu with Kairi.
Riku: I know. It's called a cruel irony. Like how this fic is mocking us back.

They enter the restaurant. Riku teases Sora about *obviously* sleeping with Kairi. Oh wait...

Sora looked horrified "No! We only slept in the same bed because of the thunderstorm!

Axel: *as Sora* We only slept in the same bed! Sharing the same blanket! With our clothes off! We only happened to be holding very tightly to each other while the bed happened to be banging against the wall!

She was scared

Axel: I'm sure she was.
Sora: Hey!

" Riku raised a brow "Riiiiightttttt, thats what they all say" he siad.

Riku: They all say they've been scared? Damn, now who the hell is this "they" I've been talking to?
Kairi: Is this thirty or thirty-one? I can't remember now.

Sora gripped his cup "I'm Serious!You can ask her yourself!"

Sora: No, I'm Sora! Not a misspelled Harry Potter character!

Oops, Riku kind of told all of their friends that he "gave her the nasty."

Riku siad laughing loud and nervously. Sora looked like he'd been punched "SORA!"

Riku: A huge purple splotch started to appear over his eye and everything!
Kairi: Thirty-two.

Kari's voice snoarled angirly from behind him.

Sora: Why's the babysitter from 'The Incredibles' making some weird animal noise at me?

He looked around with that deer in the headlights look "Can we talk?" she said inbetween her teeth.

Kairi: Or we can snoarl. Whatever works for you.
Axel: I told you to address her needs.



Who could've spread all those rumors?
She glared at him as if trying to decide wether to belive him or not "Then who did?" she asked.

Sora: My money's on Iago.

He thought about the beating Riku would get and grinned

Riku: That's no way to treat your porn provider!

"It was Riku! He told everyone that we did it!"

Sora: *as himself* It was Callahan, the big one! He did this to me!
Riku: Wait, who's going to beat me? Hordes of angry Tornado Steps?
Axel: Fangirls, of course.

he siad. Kairi nodded "Okay...excuse me" she siad marching back into the Restraunt.

Kairi: Thirty-five.
Sora: Wait...where are we again? Are we back on that spaceship?

Riku ran out a few minutes later in horror.

Riku: *as self* The British are coming!

He sprinted across the square "I'M SORRRRRY" he whaled.

Sora: Heck yeah! Take that, Monstro!
Riku: Forgive me, Kairi, for I have sinned!

Kairi ran after him waving a fist in the air "I'LL WOUND YOU!" she threatend.

All: *burst out laughing*

Sora laughed watching then, than he caught a glimpse of Kairi's long legs and began to drool.

Axel: A whole ten sentences before Sora realized that Kairi had body parts! New record!
Kairi: That's it. I'm getting a burka.

I'd wrap those legs around me...and then I would

Riku: Hula?

GAHHH NOOO IT'S COMING UP!

Kairi: Right after these messages!

STOP THINKING ABOUT IT...Think about...Think about...MUSIC!

Sora: DARLING IT'S BETTER DOWN WHERE IT'S WE....aw man, that doesn't work.
Riku: So Demyx ruined that song for you after all.
Sora: I'm gonna kill him.

Stop fantasizing, Sora! Er, again!

Kairi: Don't most of us have blue eyes?
Sora: We suffer from a spice deprivation.
Riku: As long as they're not pellucid lapis lazuli, we'll be all right.

and...lips that I wanna touch...and breasts...nice round breasts that I wanna-

Axel: But they're not. More of a flattish ovoid.

AHHHHHH he rolled over on the ground covering his crotch PLEASE DON'T SEE PLEASE DON'T!

Axel: Sora, the whole "one-eyed snake" thing? It's a joke. It has no eyes.

he pleaded silently. Kairi giggled at his sudden rolling "Whats wrong with you?"

Sora: I'm a steeeeamroller, baby! I'm gonna roll all over you! --Wait...
Riku: Your song choices aren't working out this chapter, Sora.

she asked kneeling down by him. "My Bolonga has a frist name"

Axel: Sora's bologna kills kittens?
Sora: *very sadface!!*

Sora starts singing the Oscar Meyer wiener song.

He sighed with relief it had gone down.

Kairi: To lows in the 60s and highs in the 70s.
Sora: Thank goodness. The heat waves here can be killer.

Kairi giggled "You're goofy"

Riku: No, he's Sora.
All: *roll eyes*

she siad pushing him back down as he sat up and laughing at his facial experssion. He sat up on his elbows "No I'm Sora.

Riku: Oh, hell.
Kairi: I thought I was the clairvoyant one.

You're Goofy" he joked. She began laughing more "Then who's Donald?" she asked getting close to his face.

Riku: Well, I hear Zexion was apping for him, but the mods are not on good terms with him, so we'll have to see.

Sora girrned "Riku of course!". She smiled "But why can't I be Sora?"

Axel: Because then you'd have to wear Mickey Mouse cosplay and look stupid.
Sora: Hey!

she asked. He laughed "Because you're too beautiful to be me" he said.

Sora: I--okay, I'll give him that.
Riku and Kairi: Awwwww...
Axel: *rolls eyes*

She froze "What?" she asked.

END OF CHAPTER

Riku: Tune in next week for the shocking conclusion!
Sora: Let me guess: I'll get really embarassed, start thinking about Kairi's elbows or something, and get hard.
Riku: HEY HEY, NO SPOILERS.



Will anyone's needs be addressed in this next chapter? Not likely!

Sora blinked "What?" he said not realizing.

Riku: The object, of course.

"You just siad...I was...nevermind forget it" she siad turning away blushing.

Axel: She knows she's not really beautiful, in her heart.
Sora and Riku: *PUMMEL*

He blinked "Okay"

Kairi: His eyelids are fluent in Morse code, it seems.

Kairi offers to buy Sora some food at yon restaurant.

Why is she being so nice all the sudden? He went over thier conversation "You're too beatiful to be me" AH NO. I'm an idoit.

Riku: You idiot! How dare you compliment a girl on her looks! It's like the kiss of death!

She elbowed him in the stomach "Be happy I'm about to do something nice for you!"

Kairi: Love. It's kinda like violence.

she siad. He looked at her and blinked

Axel: No morse code anymore?
Kairi: It's an exclamatory sort of blink.

"Something nice?...You mean THAT kind of nice?!"

Sora: I've got a one-track mind and even that track's broken.
Kairi: It comes with sugar, spice and everything!

She sweatdropped dirty thoughts entering her head

Axel: Ew.
Riku: Oh, so that's what sweatdropping does! Natural expulsion of dirty thoughts from the mind.
Sora: Does that mean the bigger the sweatdrop, the dirtier the thought?

"...Is...that what you want?" she asked

Sora: It's my final answer.

"You just siad...I was...nevermind forget it" he said as the waitress came up.

Axel: *as waitress* Our special today is Poached Tent in your Pants.

What could she have meant?!

He smells good.

Sora: With all these cold showers, I had better.

I wonder what body wash he uses. In fact I wonder what his body looks like.

Sora: Let me break it down for you: I've got a head with hair, two eyes, two ears, nose, mouth, two arms with one hand each, two legs with one foot each, standard number of fingers and toes, and appropriate private parts. Simple!

It's gotta be really muscular.

Axel And Riku: *burst out laughing*
Sora: Okay, Riku I can understand, but it's not like YOU'RE any better!

Well now that I think about it I did kind of feel it last night.

Kairi: I sure hope "it" just refers to his body as a whole.

Kairi envisions ripping off Sora’s boxers and going “rawr.”

"Kairi! Kairi!" Sora siad snapping his fingers to wake her up from whatever day dream she was in

Sora: When I snap my fingers, you will wake up and remember nothing!
Kairi: YES!
Riku: Me next, me next!
Axel: No way, Nobodies first!

She looked around and noticed the waitress waiting to take her order "Oh I guess, just a cheeseburger"

Kairi: I can has cheezburger?
Riku: *as waitress* CHEESEBURGER, CHEESEBURGER, CHEESEBURGER!

she siad clearing her throat.

Kairi: I think that's...forty two.

the Waitressjotted it down and walked off. "Are you okay?" Sora asked. Kairi nodded "Yeah I was just..." she stared at him for a second thinking about the rawr and the ripping and the warmness again

Riku: If this devolves into lion sex.....

"You where what?"

Kairi: Who when why how?
Axel: In the consevatory with a candlestick.

Kairi runs off to be embarrassed. Meanwhile, Sora jacks off all day until he passes out.

He opened his eyes rubbing them "K-kairi?" he asked as she came into view standing over him "What are you-"

Axel: --Doing with that knife?!
Sora and Riku: *blanch*

she kissed him hard.

Axel: *to Kairi* Changed your mind yet?

His eyes opened wide now as he was fully awake Whats going on?! She crawled on top of him slowly pulling up his shirt as she slipped her tounge in his mouth.

Riku: Wow, that takes talent.

She pulled away yanking his shirt over his head. "Kairi what are you doing?!" he asked.

Axel: Preparing for the ritual.
Kairi: There was pretty much just kissing and removing of clothing and crawling on top of people. Where'd I lose you?
Sora: Probably somewhere back in chapter two.

She just smiled softly and stroked his cheek "Shhh" he siad putting a finger to his mouth.

Kairi: Forty...something.
Axel: Hush little Sora, don't say a word...momma's gonna buy you a mock-ing-bird...
All: *creeped*

He blinked and stared at her as she bgean kissing his neck. He moaned, it felt so wonderful to him. She began making a trail from his neck to his stomach down to his Boxers.

Kairi: Leaving breadcrumbs so that I could find my way back.
Sora: I never did like hiking.

She paused pulling them down and then...

Sora sat up in bed sweat pouring down his face, neck, and chest.

Riku: Aha! More evidence that it's actually the natural excretion of dirty thoughts!

He paused looking around and then he spazzed "AH! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DREAM WAS THAT?!"

Riku: ...The same kind we've been having for the last eight chapters?

Kairi's in his bed! Naked! Making him horny! UH OH.

she asked. "K-k-kairrii?" he began getting nervous and thenn...

Riku: And then he woke up and it was all a dream!
Sora: ...But we just did that.
Riku: Point. There's no way they'd use the same trick twice within such a short amount of time.
All: ...
Kairi: ...This is ominous.

End of Chapter

BAHAHAHAHHAA

Sora: That's not helping.



It's chapter nine, and it's right now!

Next thing Sora hit the ground with his leg still half on the bed.

Riku: You beat that earth into submission!

He stared half asleep at the ceiling and then spazzed "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DREAM WAS THAT?!"

Axel: Anyone else getting deja vu?

he asked loudly again now that he was REALLY awake.

Kairi: I don't believe you.

"Sigmon Farod must be laughing at me!"

Kairi: Well, since everyone else is....
Sora: ...?
Riku: Sounds like some Middle East dictator for a country we don't care about unless it's got oil.
Axel: And that little Microsoft paperclip is laughing at you.

he yelled pulling on his hair and rolling around on the the ground.

Kairi: And lo, the children of Destiny Islands wept, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth!

He sighed and sat up catching his breath "I must be mental" he sighed standing up and stretching .

Riku: Or British.

It’s early, but he’s going anyway!

Frist he took a shower and then got dressed.

Axel: Drowning some kittens in it, I'm sure.
Sora: *sad again!*

He went into the ship's kitchen making himself some pancakes.

Riku: The kind with mouse ears?

Kairi’s there, too. Dressed in pajamas?! Scandalous!

He blushed even more seeing that she was nipply. "I...had a nightmare" he muttered turning away and flipping his pancakes.

Sora: I fought a giant shadow monster with big yellow eyes that tried to smash me into this giant stained glass pillar! But that wasn't the worst part.
Kairi: What was the worst part?
Sora: It was NAKED.

She stared at him "Abbbouuttt?" she questioned.

Axel: Trying to fly United out of Boston.
All: *SHUDDER*

He turned redder thinking about it "I don't wanna talk about it" he lied.

Riku: Good! We don't wanna hear about it.
Kairi: *nudges* Come on, Riku. Anything we can do?
Sora: Not unless you can change the past.

He did want to tell her. He wanted to tell her about every dirty thought he had about her,

Axel: But then we'd be here all day.

but he was afraid she might freak and call the police or something.

Kairi: He acts like that'd be so unreasonable of me.

(I don't think they have police but whatever)

Riku: We have porn...but we don't have police.
Sora: I roll to disbelieve!

Kairi stares at Sora’s butt and starts getting dirty thoughts. Surprise, surprise!

she thought as she dug in "Mmm Sora this is delicious!" He laughed "Thanks I made it with my secret recipe" he winked.

Axel: *as Sora* I've replaced the milk with something else thick and white!
All: EWWWWWW.

She blushed slightly and went back to her food.

Once she was full she went and brushed her teeth and then laid down reading a book

Riku: Porn?
Kairi: Probably. *sigh*

when Sora knocked on her door "Kairi theres something I need to tell you" he siad quietly.

Kairi: *as Sora, quietly* ...Fifty-three.

He’s in love with her! They begin to make out!

She finally got a hold of herself and began kissing him back rolling around on the bed.

Axel: They're gonna fall off any second now.

Her eyes flickered open and she gasped realizing it was just a dream.

Sora: Not AGAIN!
Riku: This fic is like being trapped in a MOEBIUS STRIP.
Kairi: ...At least it was my naughty dream this time?

She got up from her bed "Maybe I should just go for a walk" she siad laughing nervously to herself.

Axel: And then she walked outside and woke up and it was ALL A DREAM.

She put her clothes on and her shoes and went outside just walking around town for what seemed like hours.

Axel: When she got back to her room, her eyes opened and it was ALL A DREAM.

She came back to the ship and saw Sora sitting on the steps.

Axel: Then he woke up! IT WAS ALL A DREAM.

He smiled at her "Hey Kairi" "Hey Sora"

Axel: Moments later, he was sweating as he stood up, for it was ALL A DREAM.
Sora: Quit it.

she siad blushing thinking of her dream. She came and sat down by him.

Axel: And then she sat up--
Sora: DON'T--
Riku: STOP!--
Axel: IT WAS ALL A DREAM.

END OF CHAPTER

Axel: Luckily, IT WAS--
Sora and Riku: *draw weapons*
Axel: ALL...
Sora and Riku: *raise them*
Axel: A...
Sora and Riku: *beat into the ground*
Kairi: *sighs* ...Dream.



We're walking on to the next chapter once upon a dream.

Sora sighed putting his arms up over his head and leaning back on the steps looking at the sunset.

Sora: Just a minute ago it was breakfast!
Axel: He's probably just dreaming again.

"Beautiful isn't it?" He asked with a small smile.

Kairi: It's nice, but I can't really afford any Thomas Kinkaide paintings right now.

She looked over at him and then back at the setting sun and smiled "Yes it is" she siad.

Kairi: Fifty...oh, I don't care anymore. I give up.
Riku: But we're so close to the end!
Kairi: It's not worth it.

Sora looked at her and then looked down at his pants "Kairi...theres something I really need to tell you" he siad quietly.

Axel: "I want a divorce."

She looked at him clueless "What is it, Sora?" she asked blinking. He clenched his fist "I've always wanted to say...That I...I...I l-love...y-YOUR HAIR"

Axel: Well, redheads do do it better.

What kind of conditioner does she use? And where does she get it? At the store, you say! It’s off to the store with Sora...sort of!

He sat down on a rock near a cave

Sora: By the store.
Riku: That's either near or on the ship.
Kairi: That is either in or above or beside a square.

and sighed "'Kairi, I love you' Why is that so hard to say?"

Axel: Perpetual weeniehood.

Kairi shows up and asks what he’s up to. Then she notices something!

"A Paopu Fruit" she siad.

Axel: Isn't that your crazy destiny fruit?
Kairi: *groan*

He smiled "Hey you're right!" he siad staring at it for a minute.

Sora: I already found the paopu she drew for me and was all warm-fuzzies and stuff! Been there, done that.

She smiled "Would you like to share it with me?" she asked.

Axel: *as Sora* No, I want one all for myself!
Kairi: Well, this shippy fanfic is just a wellspring of originality, isn't it.
Sora: How do we share a chalk drawing?

He looked at her and his smile got even bigger "I'd love to! Here I'll get it!" he said trotting over to the small opening. He bent over and reached inside the cave but he couldn't reach the fruit,

Riku: Ew, leave it. It's been underground, it'll be dirty.

so he stuck his head and his torso in and continued trying to reach for the star shaped fruit.

Kairi: WAIT, wait. Logistics, here. Sora's reaching for a fruit...that's on a tree...INSIDE a cave...but not the cave that we're supposedly inside of.
Riku: That's by a Walgreens on the top of a spaceship, yes.
Kairi: Okay, just clearing that up.

"Uggh Sorry Kairi this may take a while" he called back to her. She grinned checking out his fine behind

Axel: How do you even see it under those loose jeans and belts and billion little pouches?

"Thats okay, Sora. I've got all the time in the world" she siad.

Riku: And soon--SO WILL YOU.
Axel: Fetch me that cask of amontillado, won't you?

He really didn't pay attention to the tone she had put it in since he was focusing on the getting the Paopu.

Kairi: I just realized...everything has been misspelled, but so far, not Paopu.
Sora: But that's a victory, yes?
Kairi: I've been counting misspellings of "said." I don't really know how this makes me feel.

He continued sturggling for a few more minutes and then finally he grabbed a hold of it and "AHA! I GOTCHA!"

Riku: Sora has...Doo doo doot doo doot DOOT!...captured Wild Paopumon!

he smirked at the fruit he went to pull out of the cave when he realized he was stuck.

Kairi: Someone get some carrot-top juice!
Sora: Oh, bother.

She tries to pull him out, but that just turns Sora on more! Shame.

She tugged on hard on his body of couple times beofre she sighed "It's not working, Sora...maybe we should try and lubiercate the hole with something"

Kairi: Lubier--
Sora: It means "smash it with a hammer."

She suggested I'd like to lubiercate your hole AHHH NOOO SORA CUT IT OUT

Kairi: Oh come on, this is just getting juvenile.
All: ...
Kairi: Extremely juvenile.

"Yeah that sounds good" he said now dark red even though she couldn't see him. "I'll be back" she siad "Stay put I'll get Riku to help too"

Axel: "Help" my ass.

she ran off and left him alone in the quiet

Riku: Hours later, Sora began to suspect something was amiss.

"Boy Sora you've really put your foot in it this time...or should I say your head" he sighed

Riku walked up behind the bent over Sora and slapped him on the bum,

Axel: We call this cave the glory hole.
Kairi: Now slap 'em on the behind, they like that.
Sora: I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy!

Sora jumped awake on his side of the cave "All ready bent over and everything for me?" He teased.

Axel: Hey hey, Riku. Ladies first.

Stop being an ass and save Sora’s ass, Riku.

Kairi cheered "And I found some oil" she siad cheerfully.

Riku: We'll be rich!
Axel: *as Kairi* I had to scrape it off a dead sea otter, but it should still be good.

Riku smiled at her "Great!" he said. Riku and Kairi worked on getting the oil around to lubiercate the hole.

Axel: Need a light?

"Okay" Riku said grabbing on of Sora's ankles "We pull on three okay?". Kairi grabbed his other and ankle and nodded "Here we go" Riku

Sora: No wait, get Eeyore, Piglet and Rabbit to help!

said "One...Two...THREE!" the yanked hard and sora came flying out, arms flapping,

Riku: *as Sora* I believe I can flyyyyyy...I believe I can touch the skyyy...

and Paopu in hand. Kari jumped up and down happily "Yay we did it!" she cheered.

Kairi: Item obtained: AP boost!
Sora: Sweet.

Sora runs off to take a shower.

he thanked them as he went inside to go shower off. "Of course" Kairi siad. Riku smiled "Anytime" he siad and they watched Sora dissapear off into the innerworkings of the ship.

Axel: Where, ironically, he would then become stuck trying to crawl inside a torpedo tube.

Riku sat down on the steps and so did Kairi "He's been weird lately" she murmered. He looked at her "He's always been weird"

Riku: Like that time for Halloween in second grade--
Sora: Riku!

Riku replied looking away. Kairi looked up at him "But weirder than usual" she siad. Riku's face gained a smirk "Thats because you haven't done this to him yet" he took Kairi by her shoulders and...

Riku: ...Finished a sentence!
Axel: Raped her, duh.

DUN DUN DUN

Axel: THEN HE WOKE UP

END OF CHAPTER

Axel: AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM.
Sora: *head in hands* I wish this WAS just a bad dream.
Kairi: Well, that's never anything new.
Riku: I'm just glad we stopped before we got to me getting drunk and raping anyone.
Sora: You know Riku, talking of wet dreams, you never DID tell us whom you'd had that one dream about when we were sporking "Tease".
Riku: I told you it was no one!
Kairi: Hey, we got humiliated a lot this fic. You got off easy!
Riku: Did not.
Sora: Tell us!
Riku: I....guh...if.....FINE. It was...
All: Yeeees?
Riku: *very quietly* ..........Mulan.
All: ...
Axel: *waves hands* AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM.